Who said whos on first

Abbott: Don't mention any names out here! Abbott: What is on second. Costello: I'm not askin' you who's on second! Costello: I don't know! Abbott: Now take it easy, take it easy, man.

Costello: And the left fielder's name? Costello: Because! Abbott: Oh, he's center field Costello: You got a pitcher on the team? Costello: I dunno. Tell me the pitcher's name. Abbott: Tomorrow. Costello: You don't want to tell me today? Abbott: I'm tellin' you, man.

Costello: Then go ahead. Costello: What time? Abbott: What time what? Who is on Costello: I'll break your arm if you say who's on first! Abbott: Then why come up here and ask? Costello: I want to know what's the pitcher's name? Abbott: What's on second. Costello: You gotta catcher? Costello: The catcher's name? Abbott: Today.

Costello: Today. And Tomorrow's pitching. Abbott: Now you got it. Costello: Gotta catcher? Costello: I'm a good catcher too, you know. Abbott: I know that. Abbott: Well, I might arrange that. Abbott: Well, that's all you have to do. Costello: Is to throw it to first base? Costello: Now who's got it? Abbott: Naturally. Costello: Who has it? Costello: Naturally. Costello: OK.

Abbott: Now you've got it. Costello: Then who gets it? Abbott: Naturally! Abbott: All right. Costello: I throw the ball to Naturally. Abbott: You don't! You throw it to Who! Costello: Naturally! Abbott: Well, that's it. Say it that way. Costello: That's what I said! Abbott: You did not. Costello: I said I'd throw the ball to Naturally. Abbott: You don't. You throw it to Who. Abbott: Yes! Abbott: No!

You throw the ball to first base. Costello: Then who gets it?! Costello: That's what I'm saying! Abbott: You're not saying that Costello: I throw the ball to Naturally!

Abbott: You throw it to Who! Well, say it that way. Costello: That's what I'm saying!!! Costello: I throw the ball to first base. Abbott: Then Who gets it! Costello: He'd better get it!!! Abbott: OK, it could be. Abbott: What was that? Abbott: Every dollar of it.

Costello: All I'm trying to find out is the fellow's name on first base. Costello: The guy that gets Costello: Who gets the money Abbott: He does, every dollar.

Sometimes his wife comes down and collects it. Costello: Who's wife? Costello: The guy. Costello: How does he sign Abbott: That's how he signs it. Costello: Who?

Abbott: No. What is on second base. Costello: I'm not asking you who's on second. Abbott: Who's on first. Costello: One base at a time! Abbott: Well, don't change the players around. Costello: I'm not changing nobody! Abbott: Take it easy, buddy. Costello: I'm only asking you, who's the guy on first base?

Costello: Ok. Abbott: All right. What is on second. Costello: I don't know. Abbott: He's on third, we're not talking about him. Costello: Now how did I get on third base?

Abbott: Why you mentioned his name. Costello: If I mentioned the third baseman's name, who did I say is playing third? Who's playing first. Costello: What's on first? Abbott: What's on second. Abbott: He's on third. Costello: There I go, back on third again!

Abbott: All right, what do you want to know? Costello: Now who's playing third base? Abbott: Why do you insist on putting Who on third base? Costello: What am I putting on third. Costello: You don't want who on second? Abbott: Who is on first. Abbott: Sure. Costello: The left fielder's name? Abbott: Why. Costello: I just thought I'd ask you. Abbott: Well, I just thought I'd tell ya. Costello: Then tell me who's playing left field. Abbott: Who's playing first. Abbott: No, What is on second. Abbott: Who's on first!

Costello: Because! Abbott: Oh, he's centerfield. Costello: The pitcher's name? Costello: You don't want to tell me today? Abbott: I'm telling you now.

Costello: Then go ahead. Abbott: Tomorrow! Who's the monkey? Nala: Simba's gone back to challenge Scar. Timon: Who? Nala: Scar. Pumbaa: Who's got a scar?

Nala: No, no, no. It's his uncle. Timon: The monkey's his uncle? Nala : No! Simba's gone back to challenge his uncle, to take his place as king? Shang: What's your name? Mulan: Uh I, I, uh Chi Fu: Your commanding officer just asked you a question! Mulan: Uh, I've got a name, ha!

And it's a boy's name, too. Mushu: [whispering while hiding in Mulan's collar] Ling. How about Ling? Mulan: [looking at Ling] His name is Ling. Shang: I didn't ask for his name.

I asked for yours! Mushu: Try, uh, uh Mulan: Ah Chu. Shang: Ah Chu? Mushu: Gesundheit. Mulan: Mushu Shang: Mushu? Mulan: No! Shang: [losing patience] Then what is it? Mushu: Ping! Ping was my best friend growing up. Mulan: It's Ping. Shang: [skeptically] Ping??? Mushu: [to himself] Of course, Ping did steal my gir— [Mulan clamps a hand over his mouth, shutting him up] Mulan: Yes, my name is Ping.

Sherman: Mrs. Antoinette, can we have some cake? Marie Antoinette: Mais oui. Sherman: Oh, I'm sorry. May we have some cake?

Ralph: Official query: "What do I do if clones of me are trying to capture my friend? Knowsmore: [searches] I find two results for your query. Either you put all the clones in therapy, not very realistic. Or, the anti-virus district is surrounded by a gate made from security software. If Vanellope could somehow lead all of the clones through the gate, they would be deleted all at once. Sort of a co-dependent pied piper situation. Vanellope: Wait, we know a pied piper!

Ralph: We do? Vanellope: Yesss! Ralph: Who? Ralph: Yeah, but who is it? Vanellope: [disapproving look] Ralph: Oh, you mean Yesss! Rabbit: Can you tie a knot? Piglet: I cannot. Rabbit: Ah, so you can knot? Piglet: No, I cannot knot.

Rabbit: Not knot? Pooh: Who's there? Rabbit: Pooh! Pooh: Pooh who? Rabbit: No, Pooh Piglet, you'll need more than two knots? Piglet: Not possible. Owl: Ah, so it is possible to knot those pieces. Piglet: Not these pieces. Pooh: Yes, knot those pieces. Piglet: Why not? Eeyore: 'Cause it's all for naught.

First one: Q: Who invented the steam engine? A: Watt. Q: I said "Who invented the steam engine? Q: Hao Hai is a Chinese mountain. A: I don't know, how high is it? Q: Who was the F1 World Champion? A: Lauda. Q: How do you say "horses" in Dutch? Q: What's the capital of Alaska? A: Juneau. Q: If I knew, I wouldn't be asking. Q: Where's your sister taking her holiday?

A: Alaska. Q: No don't worry, I'll do it myself. Mexican kid: [in Spanish] Sir, I would like to buy some socks. American store clerk: What? Kid: [in Spanish] Socks! I need socks! Clerk: Look, is this what you're looking for? Clerk: Is this it?

Clerk: Uh, this? Crazy: Nobody has thrown a flowerpot on my head! And No-one is my witness! Policeman: Sir, are you crazy? Crazy: Yes, exactly!

A: Corsican. Q: OK, so what was it? Q: Hao Long is a Chinese name. Q: No, Hao Long is a Chinese name. Police: What's your name again? Damn You: Damn You. Police: Listen, are you looking for trouble? Damn You: Yes, that's why I came to you! Q: Pete and Re-Pete are in a boat. Pete falls off, so who's left? A: Re-Pete. Adam and Eve fell out.

Who was left? A: Pinch-Me-Now. Look under there. Under where? Heh-heh, you said underwear! Kid: Dad, I'm hungry. Dad: Hi Hungry, I'm Dad. Farmer 1: I just got a flock of cows.

Farmer 2: Herd. Farmer 1: Heard what? Farmer 2: Cow herd. Farmer 1: Why are you calling me a coward? Farmer 2: I didn't say "coward", I said "cow herd". Farmer 1: What if a cow heard? They can't understand English. Farmer 2: No, I meant "herd", like in herd of cows.

Farmer 1: Of course I've heard of cows. I've got a whole flock of 'em! Naturally, when they tell each other where to put the music, the names of these new bands and songs lead to misunderstandings. Costello: I have a video here by En Vogue. Can you tell me its title? Abbott: "Never Gonna Get It.

Give me one reason. Abbott: That's Tracy Chapman , we're not talking about her! Costello: I'm not talking about Tracey Chapman either. You oughta know. Costello: Since we're naming so many female singers, can you tell me the title of this Sheryl Crow video? Here's the last one. Which Spice Girls song is this?

Abbott: "Stop. Did you see The Band? Davy Jones: I just got back from Africa, y'know. I was playing cards with the natives. Micky Dolenz: Oh, Zulus? Davy: No, I usually won. Who's it by? You should have gone to Morrow yesterday and back today For the train that goes to Morrow is a mile upon its way If you had gone to Morrow yesterday, now don't you see?

You could have gone to Morrow and returned today at three For the train today to Morrow if the schedule is right Today it gets to Morrow and returns tomorrow night. I've got a friend that lives with me, My friend's name is Nobody.

Nobody plays with me, Nobody loves me. I've got a friend that you can't see, My friend's name is Nobody. Nobody listens, Nobody cares. In '80s All Over 's October episode Drew can't understand why Scott won't tell him the title of the next film, only that it's Romantic Comedy. Scott bursts into tears "I'm at the mercy of this horrible film! Arnie mentioned the sketch by name, but nobody else saw anything confusing.

In one episode of Point vs. Point which is meant to be a news show in-universe , Evan reads a story about a conflict between Iran and Israel , which Gareth mistakes for the phrases "is real" and "I ran", leading to a long string of misunderstandings. Evan even references "Who's On First? Shel Silverstein's poem " The Meehoo with an Exactlywatt ". Pro Wrestling. He's from the Kingdom of Tonga. For a short time, the WWF had a masked wrestler named Who played by Jim Neidhart , who existed solely so that the commentators could do this bit during his matches.

It sucked. WrestleCrap made fun of it on their message boards; a Running Gag was following up an instance of the word "who" with not Neidhart. Puppet Shows. Big Bird thinks everyone is from Ohio, when they're really just saying good morning in Japanese to him which sounds like "Ohio". In "Who Is Me? I miss you. Please come to lunch.

Signed, Me. Owl reads it out loud verbatim, causing Pooh to think at first that it's Owl that invited him to lunch. After Owl finally gets through to Pooh that he didn't write the note, he spends the remainder of the story chasing the note through the pages of the Book of Pooh , trying to find out who did write it and confusing them, particularly Rabbit. In the end, it turns out that Kessie the bluebird wrote the note and she's forced to admit that, yeah, it would have saved Pooh a lot of trouble if she had actually signed her name.

But the latter tells him that his favorite song is The Mine Song. The Muppet Show : The classic "Good grief, the comedian's a bear" routine , where Fozzie tells Kermit to say the line when he says "Hear". Afterwards backstage, Kermit the Frog recommends that the bug band find a name for their group.

One of them mentions "The Grateful Dead" as a possibility. Kermit asks, "The who? Also happens with Floyd and Animal. Animal: Yeah. What music? Floyd: "Put Another Nickel In". Animal: [puts more money in] I put nickel in. Fozzie: Explain what? Kermit: No, no, no. Explain Whatnot.

Fozzie: How could I explain what it's not when I don't even know what it is? Kermit: Well, I do know what it is. Fozzie: You know what what is? Kermit: Whatnot! Fozzie: What? Say "Whatnot! Kermit: Why not? Fozzie: Why not? What happened to the Whatnots? Kermit: Well, I don't know. Fozzie: Third base! Forgetful Jones: Clementine, please tell me, what's the name of that song? Clementine: What's the Name of That Song! Forgetful Jones: That's what I've been asking you!

U: It's U. P: You're me? U: I'm U. P: Well, this makes no sense. I'm me. You're you. U: Exactly. I'm U. As mentioned above, Abbott and Costello were masters of this style.

Their Trope Namer routine manages to go on for fifteen minutes doing constant variations, without really repeating itself. The right fielder was never named. A minor variation was when Costello was being taught how to milk a cow by Abbott, who told him in a thick Brooklyn accent - "You gotta go to the source!

I want milk! Not to mention seeing Boston in Chicago. Eventually they concluded that "the greatest band of the Seventies was Abbott and Costello". True to their nature, this eventually got more than usually ridiculous. And The Band backed Dylan. Haydn's been dead for years. Funnyman: Yes? Straight Man: No. Funnyman: No? Straight Man: Yes! Straight Man: NO!! Straight Man: YES!! Higgenlooper: Okay, who's on first? Higgenlooper, if my secretary's already given you the information, you know, there's no sense for me to be here.

I could be out booking Sly in Spokane, so if you've got it Higgenlooper: No no, wait a minute, wait a minute, all I said was "who's on first? Higgenlooper: Ah, That's Right. Oh, I like that name. That's Right. It's so affirmative, it's so - so sure of itself Dallinger: Don't write "That's Right. Higgenlooper: That's Wrong? Huh, it's been more negative, I suppose with what with these times and all, That's Wrong.

It's not "That's Wrong". Higgenlooper: Well, then Dallinger: Who's on first. Higgenlooper: Who is on first?

Dallinger: Who. Higgenlooper: Who? Higgenlooper: Who. Dallinger: Who! Higgenlooper: Who?! Higgenlooper: Who's on first?! Dallinger: That's right! Higgenlooper: That's Right! I got it down here! Dallinger: Look, Mr. You get on the Pomona freeway, you drive your car out onto Ontario Motor Speedway, you get out, you give the man a ticket, you sit down in your seat, the guy on stage comes out and says, "Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to present, Who!

Alright, it's a fine group as far as I'm concerned. Dallinger: [sighs] Higgenlooper: Wait, you're upset. There's nothing— there's nothing— [more overlaying arguements]. Higgenlooper: Let's just move over Dallinger: Fine. Higgenlooper: Okay, who's on second? Dallinger: [enraged] Who's on first!

We wouldn't have them on second!! Higgenlooper: [overlapping] Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, no no no, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, um What's the name of the second act? Dallinger: Guess Who. Higgenlooper: [long-suffering] Jeez, I'm not familiar with your genre, here Dallinger: I don't have any genre, it's just three rock and roll acts. Guess Who! Higgenlooper: Uh Dallinger: They're not even sisters, Mr. Higgenlooper: Um, Bo Donaldson and the Heywoods!

Dallinger: Bo Donaldson and the Heywoods?! I am not running no Goddamn Busch Gardens, pal, let's get that straight. This is Conquest Concerts Higgenlooper: Well, I I can't guess who! Dallinger: [frustrated] You don't have to guess who! Higgenlooper: So I won't guess who! Dallinger: So don't guess who! Higgenlooper: All right! Dallinger: All right! Dallinger: I will tell you something frankly sir I didn't have this much trouble with the free press.

Higgenlooper: Oh, you didn't, huh? Well, I'll tell you something frankly, sir. I didn't have this much trouble with the Music Center and they put on Rigoletto one year. Dallinger: That's four acts. Higgenlooper: Not the year they did it. Higgenlooper: All right, now let's move onto the third act. Dallinger: Yes. Higgenlooper: Fine.

Dallinger: Thank you. Higgenlooper: You're welcome. Dallinger: [leaving] Okay. Let me see a proof of the ad on Wednesday and Higgenlooper: [outraged] Wait a minute! Where are you going? Wait a minute! I asked you to tell me the name of the third act! Dallinger: [gibbers with fury] I told you the name of the third act! You want me to tell you again?! Higgenlooper: Yes!

Higgenlooper: That's Right's on first! Higgenlooper: I've been writin' for eleven minutes, I got nothing on the paper, that's my problem!